just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
