Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
