he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
