I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
