i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
