After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize