She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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