i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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