I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
