i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He keeps bees of course he's weird
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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