note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
