Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
