there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
