Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
