Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
