Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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