Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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