All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
