I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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