I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
