There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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