Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
