Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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