From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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