sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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