Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pants are for mortals
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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