if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.