I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
