I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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