it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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