i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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