i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
