Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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