i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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