I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
