How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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