omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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