i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
