And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize