no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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