You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
