I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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