I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
