If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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