your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
