i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
