No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
