and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
