A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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