pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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