I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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