Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
