i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize