this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
