i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
