I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
