Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
