First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
