Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
